The Legend of Devyani
Varchaswi

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43
reviews
83
reads
1
recommendation

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Synopsis

Vishwaroopa is a young warrior in the ancient lands of Bharatha Khandaa. In search of fame and glory, he swears to retrieve the portrait of the legendary beauty, Devyani, who was the once the princess of Avantika. This portrait of Devayni, was thought to be lost years ago. But his journey is broken when he is trapped up in the land of the enemy.

In those lands, he stumbles across a village girl Nayanaa, who was about to end her life, but for his intervention. She listens to his tale and his quest, in the lands of the enemy. With nothing to lose in her pathetic life, she decides to help this stranger before she could take her life.

Together they engage in an adventure where Vishwaroopa finally ends up finding the ancient portrait of Devyani and all the treasures thought to be lost. With fame and glory, he still feels a void in his heart which can be healed only by the love of the woman who helped him and stood with him in his quest for fame and glory.

(The story is set in the fictional lands of Ancient India - Bharatha Khandaa, when kings reigned.)

Reviews by users on leaderboard

Reviews by the community

Sanjana Shelar

The characters and story as they are now are very confused. The narration keeps skipping distractingly between the story of the mirror and the story of the portrait, and the lack of background for any of the main characters makes them hard to relate to. There are also numerous grammatical errors that make an already confusing read even more difficult to get through. However, the basic story, of a legendary kingdom with a legendarily beautiful princess, is like a story my grandmother would tell, and that makes me want to find out what happens next.

Dec 18 '15
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Geetha Krishnan

The plot is good and has the potential to hold the reader spell bound, but the language is pedestrian. The way it is written now, it can't hold a reader's interest for long. A good editor and some polishing could turn this to a bestseller

Dec 04 '15
2
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Geetha Krishnan

I do agree that concept is the core, but most editors will tell you to improve your craft before seeking to publish. But again, that is a matter of opinion. :)

Dec 05 '15
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Varchaswi

Thanks a lot Geetha ji.......While I accept your judgement, I do not hold a Masters in English....However, concept is the core and my work is a high concept work. Hence, i did not polish it too much to spend an entire life time on it......You are kind with your words....

Dec 05 '15
1

Sundari Venkatraman

I got pulled into the story. It's beautifully structured. It should make for a wonderful book once polished by an editor. Looking forward to reading the whole book as soon as it gets published. Congratulations to the author!

Dec 01 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Thanks a lot Mrs Sundari Venkatraman, for your time and your review....Means a lot to me.... :)

Dec 05 '15
1

Kalyani

Great story idea and great start … the story gets going from page one.
Language and flow does need a lot of attention though. I often felt somewhat confused while reading.

Nov 13 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Thank u Kalyani....

Nov 27 '15
0

Ruchi Singh

Premise is very good. I like the story idea and am curious to know what happen next. Execution of the story need to be worked on. Intro at the beginning and timeline at the end of the 2nd chapter is not required, readers are intelligent :-) let them workout the story. The thoughts and dialogues are disjointed and do not seem real, the action vs reaction of various characters need to be gauged and conveyed appropriately. Descriptions on various hindi words need not be explained then and there, it breaks the immersion. E.g. Dhruva says 'I was a chitrakar...' then the word is explained. Instead the explanation can be worded in the dialogue. 'I was a chitrakar and have painted numerous pictures of royal family members...' Remember you know the story but readers do not, so information has to be presented in a coherent manner.

Oct 26 '15
0
1

RISHI KULSHRESHTHA

quite good story ,did hard work ,impressive.

Oct 24 '15
1
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Varchaswi

Thank u Rishi ji for sparing some time.

Oct 26 '15
0

Shriesh Pabba

I am not a great writer, not even a published author. Please bear that in mind when you read my notes.

My review:
Seems like a great story. As a written work, I believe that this needs a lot (a lot) more work.

My likes:
Nicely developing story arc. You have me intrigued about the story-line.
Will have to admit - storytelling is in your DNA.

My dislikes:
Your apparent lack of mastery on the craft of story-writing. Telling engaging stories is one thing and writing engaging stories is another. If you and I were seated opposite each other and you were narrating this tale to me, you would have me all absorbed. But, in the form of a book, there is a lot that can be improved in terms of wielding the craft of story-writing.
Here are a thing or two to think about - "How should the reader imagine Viswaroopa?" - You have not given many physical descriptions. "Is the reader part of the setting and the timeframe?" - Your usage of terms typical of that era is perhaps forced than natural.

Oct 16 '15
1
2

Varchaswi

Thanks boss for the time. Will definitely reflect on it.

Oct 16 '15
1

Saurabh K Singh

One of the most interesting and engrossing texts i have come across is here.....When can i read the full book......

Sep 14 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Thanks Saurabh........Am happy that you found it engrossing.......May be some day, if at all.....

Sep 17 '15
0

pandustar

After spending nearly twenty minutes reading through this manuscript, I still haven't understood what I've read. There are thousands of mytho - thriller books out there now, and if this were printed then it wouldn't stand a chance in the market.
I apologize as the author must has put a lot of effort into the creation, however I need to be fair and if people like me feel that the story line is rubbish, then there maybe others like me too.

Sep 07 '15
2
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Varchaswi

There may be a thousand Mytho thrillers out there and my book might be a speck in an ocean of light. How to make my book stand out is my headache and I will see to it that it will standout. If god bless and my book finds the light of being published, I will prove that my book does stand out. This may sound like an open challenge. Yes it is. Not only will i make the book stand out but I will prove that your opinion is a jewel in my crown......Your review is appropriate to the extent that it balances any extremities in other reviews....And I do want to express something.... I respect your individuality and treasure your opinion....Literally and philosophically.......Well! Time only will tell who of us might be right..... But, If my book does not come out, then we cannot decide......... By the way, I adore your attitude......

Sep 17 '15
0

Varchaswi

Thanks a lot Pandu ji, for taking time to read thru my book. Been waiting for your opinion since long...... I hope that I can say a few words......

Sep 17 '15
0

Vidya Sagar

GREAT WORK DONE BY AUTHOR
WAITING FOR FURTHER....

Sep 05 '15
1
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Varchaswi

Thanks Mr Vidya sagar.....May be one day...if God blesses... :)

Sep 17 '15
0

Rashmi Rathi

Nice story !!

Sep 04 '15
2
1

Varchaswi

Thank u Rashmi. Thanks a lot.

Sep 17 '15
0

Varchaswi

Thanks!

Sep 04 '15
0

Viswa Teja Tippabhatla

That was an excellent story..very intersted to read...Good work waiting for coming chapters..

Sep 01 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Thanks a lot teja. Been waiting for each and every review.

Sep 17 '15
0

Lokesh Gunturi

A Good effort Mr.varchaswi. This book is really nice, great mythological & fantasy. It was more interesting while reading this book...!!!

Aug 29 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Thanks for the reveiw Mr Lokesh. Every review counts. So thanks a lot.

Sep 17 '15
0

Sai Kamalesh Dronamraju

it is so much interesting nice to read this book ..

Aug 28 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Thanks for the review Kamalesh. Treasure it.

Sep 17 '15
0

Sanjana Parikh

The plot is interesting and the story is well written. It does seem a little superficial in certain places and sometimes the visualisation is difficult, but most of it is great effort! Good job

Aug 28 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Thanks a lot .... :) :) one has to get to the end of the book to view things in their true conyext.....but thanks a lot..... :)

Aug 28 '15
0

Rahul Dutt

It's Gripping.Can't Wait anymore for the full story

Aug 20 '15
1
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Varchaswi

Thanks Rahul.... The other part of the novel will be gripping as well. Treasure your review and rating. Please suggest the book to your friends and request them to give their views and/or suggestions. :)

Aug 21 '15
0

viswa akhila

First of al,te author has chosen a story thread and generates interest in all.The opening and the progress are very good.The intention of the author to educate readers regarding events could have handled in a better way.It is a great read.We are eagerly waiting to read the rest of the chapters.Great work.

Aug 19 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Thanks, Ms Akhila. I am happy to receive a very specific review. Such review carry good weight in assessing if a script can be considered for publication. Since each and every review is important, please spread the word....Thanks a lot.

Aug 19 '15
0

Priya Sidharth Sethi

I was engrossed while reading the manuscript. Found some dialogues confusing so had to read them again...all in all creative, engaging and imaginative!

Aug 18 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Dear Priya, Thanks for the review. As you know every review counts. My book has almost reached the half century reads on BGB. I hope you can suggest to some of your friends to make the milestone, Once again, thanks a lot for the review....

Aug 19 '15
0

Anand Ram

Very interesting story I am happy to read it and a good work by author

Aug 16 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Dear Anand Ram, thanks for the review. Please spread the word. Each and every additional review counts. I hope you can get some of your friends to read the book and provide their valuable comments on the same....Once again, thanks a lot....

Aug 19 '15
0

Mahesh

It's very interesting looking forward to read what happens next...........:

Aug 12 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Dear Mahesh, i am grateful to you for taking time and providing your comments. I hope you can spread the word and ask some of your friends to read and provide their valuable suggestions and comments.

Aug 19 '15
0

Deepa Iyyer

Would definitely like to know what happens next

Aug 11 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Thanks Ms Deepa. I am happy to receive a review from the user of a leaderboard. It would have a lot of weight-age. Hope one day, we all will have the chance to know what happens....Whether Devyani is still alive....How Vishwaroopa falls in love with Nayanaa....and many more interesting things....I am in tremendous gratitude for your review. Thanks a lot...If possible, please spread the word.... :)

Aug 11 '15
0

sajid ali mirza

Good work by the writer!!!
I love the way he narrated the each scenario with great Imagination.
I am so curious to read the whole book my friend

Aug 10 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Thanks, sajid.... Every review is needed.....your review is the push, which i need right now.....please spread the word.... Thanks a lot once again...

Aug 10 '15
0

Divya Akella

Gripping storyline. Good one Sai

Aug 09 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Thanks Divya. Needed your review desperately. Each and every review counts. I am happy that you found the story line gripping enough. Thanks a lot. Please spread the word...... :)

Aug 10 '15
0

Nancy Jain

A really good effort by the author. The narration has got a good flow. It has made me curious to know whether the legendy beauty devyani is still alive. It took me to imagination of the woods and the palace of the kings that existed years before. Waiting to read the other half of the book.

Aug 09 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Thanks Nancy. The target audience of this book is both thriller lovers and romance readers. So the review of a female reader is very important to me. .... And hope that one day, we all have the chance to read the other half of the book. Please spread the word..... Thanks a lot.

Aug 10 '15
0

Vamsi Musunuri

This is one hell of a book. The first chapter ended on a gripping note.There is good amount of foreshadowing, especially the end of the third chapter. It sounded like some historic moment.... As for the characters, they donot sound like the cardboard charaters. They sound fully built with emotional depth... Also, the writing was good visually....but some editing will definitely help...

Aug 09 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Thanks for your kind words Vamsee. I am very happy with the review for it was specific in pointing out the positives. Yes, making the characters three dimensional was one hell of a headache. I am glad that your raised the point. And you would love the rest of the story....Thanks a bunch...Please spread the word.

Aug 10 '15
0

Samy R

a good mythological fantasy ... author has put in a lot of effort

Aug 09 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Thanks a lot samy..... Needed your review....each and every review counts....please request ur friends to give their reviews and ratings too....

Aug 10 '15
0

tejaswini

A lot of effort has gone into the manuscript.ancient character names...looking forward to read d remaining part of love story

Aug 06 '15
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swetha

A lot of effort has gone into the manuscript. It is very detailed and written well.Good to see this fantacy book found rarely

Aug 06 '15
0
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Dheeraj kumar pv

nicely narrated....ancient character names...looking forward to read d remaining part of love story

Aug 04 '15
1
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Varchaswi

Thanks Mr Dheeraj. Yes the character names were chosen to sound exotic....As to the remaining story, it has both a romance line and a thriller narrative....Depending on one's tastes, one can enjoy both....

Aug 05 '15
0

Srinivas Manikantha Vadlamannati

Much detailing about the charecters and the kingdom is found.This made the larger than life charectoers come to life.The reader can easily be lost in the kingdom.As a fantasy themed lover kudos to the author.Looking forward to reading it.

Aug 04 '15
1
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Varchaswi

Thank u Srinivas for your review....Each and every review counts..So please spread the word....

Aug 05 '15
0

Runjhun Noopur

This has all the elements of a good mythical-fantasy fiction. The world building is good and there is enough intrigue to make you want to read more. The language structure, however, needs a lot of improvement. Also, I found portions that seemed to be over explaining things like timeline and etymology and I would much rather these things were woven into the story itself and let the reader have the pleasure of putting the pieces together.

Aug 04 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Dear Runjun, thanks a lot for the valuble review....yes, a little editorial touch is needed....but the additional narrations gain prominence as one goes deeper into the story....anyway thanks for your valuble review.... I am glad that you responded to my request....would be happier if you can spread the word....

Aug 04 '15
1

Audumbar Bhoi

It's definitely a Bloody good book. Author had paid attention to the details. Well done my friend. Kudos!

Aug 03 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Thanks, my friend. Your review means a lot to me. Especially, you are a leather board user and your review carries a value and weightage..... I wish the day would come when we can all read the full tale....thanks a bunch....please spread the word....

Aug 03 '15
0

Sri Nivas

Excellent book, curious to read further

Aug 03 '15
1
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Varchaswi

Thanks a lot, Mr Srinivas. Every review and every rating counts. I am happy for the fact that you have taken time to help me by sparing your valuable time.

Aug 03 '15
0

Vineeth Kumar

Aug 03 '15
2
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Varchaswi

Thanks, Mr Vineeth for your time in going through the manuscript.

Aug 03 '15
0

Varchaswi

Thank u vineeth......can u also write a few points as to what u felt missing.....

Aug 03 '15
0

Neelam

Really good book.....kept me turning pages!! Loved it!! Very well written!!

Aug 02 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Thank u neelam: for your time and for your feedback....Please spread the word....Every review helps....Thanks, once again.

Aug 03 '15
0

surya

This is very interesting story with lot of twists from begining. Eagerly waiting for the remainig part of the story. The story is presented well.

Aug 02 '15
2
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Varchaswi

Thanks a lot for your time and feedback. Hope that one day, the story would come out in full.

Aug 03 '15
0

Varchaswi

Hi Surya ji,

Aug 03 '15
0

Virinchi Tejaswi Boggavarapu

The author has selected a storyline that appeals to all. He has also seems to have considered underlying emotions, which is very good. As far as the narration is concerned, it went off-track at some places. But, the author was quick to get the tempo back. Honestly, I feel that this story has all the elements that make it an interesting and worthy read.

Aug 02 '15
1
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Varchaswi

Thanks Bhaiyya. The thing I love about your review is your honesty without bias of personal relation. It counts a lot and has heavier weight-age in assessing the chance of being published.

Aug 03 '15
0

sphurthy pallekonda

The Story goes very interesting as we read........looking forward to read the remaining part anxiously......

Aug 02 '15
1
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Varchaswi

Thank you sphurthy for your time and your patience. Your support for a debutant shows your humility and your professional attitude.

Aug 03 '15
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Mallikarjuna rao Boggavarapu

A book with a different narrative track and a new line altogether. I wish the remaining part would be as thrilling.

Aug 02 '15
2
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Varchaswi

Yes the rest of the story will be thrilling and gripping.

Aug 03 '15
0

Varchaswi

Thanks dad,

Aug 03 '15
0

Vignesh

The synopsis is the kind of thing which would make people pick up the book at airports, rail stations and libraries.
As to the content, it was engaging and different. One star deducted for a few grammatical errors. Some editorial work would also be helpful to refine the phrases used. I hope the book is a thriller as tagged in the categories

Aug 02 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Thanks for the review Mr. Vignesh. Each and every review counts. Alas, to err is human. That said, the book has been indeed narrated as a thriller and the tag is appropriate. As tagged, the story has also been embedded with a romance line to increase its marketable and commercial value. I hope that someday in the future, you will have the chance to read the entire script. Once again, thanks a bunch for your review. Please spread the word...

Aug 02 '15
0

Sandra

Im a biiiig fan of mythological fantasies...and the story of this book is exactly the kinda stories i love reading! Indeed an amazing imagination ...! Really looking forward for the rest of the story :)

Aug 01 '15
1
1

Varchaswi

Thanks for the kind words Sandra. You would indeed love the rest of the story. Please spread the word....

Aug 02 '15
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jahnavi

The book is really good.This book can be read by all age groups. The flow and the tone of the story is very nice.I am eager to read the remaining part.

Aug 01 '15
1
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Varchaswi

Thanks Jahnavi. The primary target audience of this book is all thriller lovers and those who love fantasies. You would indeed like the rest of the story...Please spread the word....Each and every review counts....

Aug 02 '15
0

Deepak Kaul

A lot of effort has gone into the manuscript. It is very detailed and written well. In some places however, reactions and emotions seem displaced. There has to be a consonance with the situation and the story.

Aug 01 '15
1
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Varchaswi

Thanks deepak ji. Your review means a lot to me. To see that the emotions in their true sense, you have to get to the end of the story......anyway thanks a bunch......please spread the word....each and every review counts.....thanks a lot.

Aug 02 '15
0

About the author

Varchaswi Follow

I am an aspiring author. Storytelling is my DNA.