Shriesh Pabba
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About Shriesh Pabba

Words are my bombs that explode as ideas in others' minds. ------- "Trapped in the summer of love, in search of my glory days, I'm a Freebird, riding on the storm. Where ever I may roam, I sing electronic chants"

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Favourite Books

Foundation

A Feast for Crows

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The Fountainhead

P.S. I Love You

And the Mountains Echoed

Favourite Authors

Isaac Asimov

George R R Martin

Salman Rushdie

Haruki Murakami

Favourite Genres

Shriesh Pabba's activity

An Autograph for Anjali

Shriesh Pabba

I am not a great writer, not even a published author. Please bear that in mind when you read my notes.

My review:
Good book... a few steps from being bloody good book... It has grabbed my attention for sure, but not my entire imagination.

My likes:
1. Character Development: Able to visualize the characters very well.
2. Pace: Very smooth. Pleasure reading. Good use of language, no unnecessary jerks.

My dislikes:
1. Settings and scenery: You give us glimpses of the setting and the scenery. Would like to see more, for a more immersive reading experience.
2. POV Switches: In three chapters, you have given us three POVs. Lost track of the story. Guess, this is a style thing. Connecting to characters is important, but not as important as knowing 'WHAT', for a thriller, imho. One of friends had once remarked to me - 'Too many characters too soon spoils the broth'.

Feb 22 '16
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Sundari Venkatraman

Thank you for your feedback Shriesh. The ebook is already published on Amazon. Also available on #KindleUnlimited. If you are a fan of paperbacks, you can buy that version here: https://notionpress.com/read/an-autograph-for-anjali

May 16 '16
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The Legend of Devyani

Shriesh Pabba

I am not a great writer, not even a published author. Please bear that in mind when you read my notes.

My review:
Seems like a great story. As a written work, I believe that this needs a lot (a lot) more work.

My likes:
Nicely developing story arc. You have me intrigued about the story-line.
Will have to admit - storytelling is in your DNA.

My dislikes:
Your apparent lack of mastery on the craft of story-writing. Telling engaging stories is one thing and writing engaging stories is another. If you and I were seated opposite each other and you were narrating this tale to me, you would have me all absorbed. But, in the form of a book, there is a lot that can be improved in terms of wielding the craft of story-writing.
Here are a thing or two to think about - "How should the reader imagine Viswaroopa?" - You have not given many physical descriptions. "Is the reader part of the setting and the timeframe?" - Your usage of terms typical of that era is perhaps forced than natural.

Oct 16 '15
1
2

Varchaswi

Thanks boss for the time. Will definitely reflect on it.

Oct 16 '15
1
I want to run away

Shriesh Pabba

I am not a great writer, not even a published author. Keep that in mind, when you read my notes.

My review:
I probably would not invest my money on this book, but I know quite a few people who would not mind doing so.

My likes:
Breezy writing style.
Aashika's character is developing really well and I can almost feel her disdain with her realities.
Your sense of humor is coming out pretty well.

My dislikes:
As I am not the right target audience for you, I'll refrain from sharing my dislikes.

Oct 15 '15
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Shriesh Pabba

I am not a great writer, not even a published author; keep that in mind when you read my notes:

My review:
You got something going here. I definitely want to read more. So far as publishing is concerned, I have my reservations about it only because of the small slip-ups in writing.

My likes:
Really good pace for the overall story
Characters are coming out well
Definitely intrigued with the story-line

My dislikes:
I wished that in some spots the pace slowed and a bit more imagery was shared with me; on second thoughts, there really should be more imagery. Look at the various sub-genres of horror...
Some slip-ups in language and POV here and there.
Not certain what you are aiming for - thriller or horror? A mix of these is great. I just did not get a sense that the way you are mixing them is good... (sorry, can't explain this line; just a strong feeling).

Oct 07 '15
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BLUE

Shriesh Pabba

I am not a great writer, not even a published author; please keep that in mind when you read my notes.

My review:
You have some serious talent. For me, this book just teases me about the talent you have, but does not unleash the true potential. Yet, I would definitely like to read on and see this book in print.

My likes:
Writing has a punch. Stories have well defined characters, plot, pace and extremely believable dialogues, great openers, great endings... brilliant writing.
Clearly, you can write across genres.

My dislikes:
Your stories are bit like riddles. If I am going to pay money, I don't want to be quizzed -- no, not even slightly or subtly. It works in a novel, wherein I have sufficient information and I have invested significant amount of time in going through the pages. A short story - different mechanics at play. It spoilt the fun of reading a short for me at least.

Oct 06 '15
1
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Remesh

Thanks a lot for that review Shriesh....

Oct 06 '15
1
Second Wind

Shriesh Pabba

I am not a great writer, not even a published author; keep that in mind when you read my notes.

My review - summary
first and foremost - Respect. If I had to put money into printing this, I would after thorough editing is done. I did read that you are being represented by Jacaranda -- so expected quite some talent. And I was not disappointed.

My likes:
1. Your way with words and almost subtle wit.
2. Plot development
3. Character development
4. Pace.

My dislikes:
1. Editing is probably my major complain. POV is sometimes difficult to get hang of -- sometimes we are in 3-rd, sometimes in 1st (as far as I can remember). At one point you even jump to 2nd. Switching POVs is not bad when you can show that it is being done on purpose and provide a smooth transition in the narrative (imho).
2. Other minor irritants:
2a. Character airtime - Kar is not getting any airtime whatsoever, so what's the point of introducing him early on?
2b. Character depth - Your characters are definitely not 2D. Yet, they are not completely real either. A few character traits here and there should bring them alive. You are letting the dialogue do quite a bit of talking. That works perfectly with Karan, a bit with Ritika. But, think about it.
2c. Character arcs - Maybe, we as readers should get a hint of the character arcs of everyone other than Sanjay.
Note: The above are minor irritants and mostly writer-style-related; so guess I am making note of them for you to ponder about.

My review:
To be up-front: I would probably not be your target market. I am generally not the kind of guy who likes to be preached, even indirectly. You are doing quite a good job of not letting the preaching be in-your-face, but I think you could do a better job of it (after all, all writing is preaching through make-belief stories). Also, your writing style is not my cup of tea -- long, winding sentences, too many at a stretch.
All that aside, your writing is distinct and you definitely have a style. Your plot and characters are coming across pretty neatly; although I have my doubts about their matured dialogues at that age in life (but, that's just me).
Editing is the perhaps the one thing that I think you should focus on. Editing for POV fidelity and dialogues.
All said and done, Jacaranda representing you makes quite a bit of sense. Best of luck.
Finally, here's fiction for you: If I were to put money into printing this, yes I would, only after thorough editing is done.

---
P.S: I didn't proof-read the above. Do reach out to me if you desire any clarification.

Oct 05 '15
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0
Survivors

Shriesh Pabba

I am not a great writer, not even a published author; keep that in mind when reading my review.
---
My review:
You have a voice! Believe that there is a great idea in there. I feel that the work needs to be honed a lot more before you even think of publishing.

My likes:
1. Within the first few pages, I get a sense of reading the writing of "an author". You have a voice! Here and there, you have a great play of words going on.
2. You do quite a bit of showing - makes me feel that I am "in" the story.
3. Character development is strong. I have a clear sense of who Lacey is, who Sarah is, who Plumber is, who Luke is and also a faint idea of who Layla is.
4. You already seem to know quite a number of plot devices and you are using them to good effect.

My dislikes:
1. Too many logical flaws! Just toooooo many! Here are some: Lacey is bound and in front of the enemy and being stared down -- how can she think soooo much, shouldn't there be more action?; If the rare oasis where the protagonist is in Chap 1 is so good that it survived the mysterious event, then how come there are "tell-tale sandpiles" in there? I found way too many for comfort!
2. I've read fifty pages and I still don't care about any of the characters. You have painted the characters well. However, you have not given us a strong enough reason to care for them. Sister protecting sister - that's a good start, but I think that I should have felt it more strongly for me to continue reading on.
3. There is very little telling or "descriptions". Unfortunately, I could not always imagine the setting of the scene, which made me feel a bit disconnected.
4. Mistakes in physical laws or facts were a bit discomforting in a work of science fiction. Example: Divines are made from an injection and injections don't mutate!

My review:
Like I mentioned, you have a voice. Clearly, there is quite a bit of story that has to be told. You are throwing in quite some character types - Divines, them... All of this is intriguing. What's more - your character development and "show, not tell" is also working well on a reader like me. However, there are way too many inconsistencies in setting, emotions, logical/expected reactions given circumstances... well, you really need to step back, shut this work for a few months and then revisit it; Trust me, you'll see what I am talking about. All in all, I feel that this needs a lot of work and revision before you even think of publishing. Sorry for that last statement -- I knew that it must have stung. But, I am telling it because I feel that you have a great story to tell and that you current writing might not bring that story to me.

Oct 04 '15
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0

Shriesh Pabba

Please bear in that this is only one person's opinion:

My review - summary:
Would definitely love to keep reading; would also spend money to buy the book if it were to be refined.

My likes:
Krish's character is developing very strongly and I want to know what's going on.
You have intrigued me with the character of Rishabh and definitely would like to get some answers.
I get a sense of a grand theme that you are building up to and I want to know what it is.

My Dislikes:
Language needs refinement - tense-switching, punctuation here and there, character thoughts.
I am being told a lot of things; would like to see some of them.
Plot coherence is a bit off in a place or two -- e.g. early on we read about a character who has not been introduced; then beginning of chapter 3 - it is written that his anguished "engulfed" him, which is what was happening earlier too, so wasn't sure what was happening earlier or at the beginning of chapter 3.

My review:
A hidden grand theme and developing characters have definitely grabbed my attention and I would love to read more. I can't be sure if the grand theme is to my liking though.
Despite my likes, there are some troubling irritants which might not make me spend my money. Primarily, it is the grip over the language and polishing of your story-telling prowess (note: polishing; you are pretty good as it is).

Oct 03 '15
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Shriesh Pabba

I am not a great writer or even a published writer; keep that in mind when you peruse my thoughts on your writing.

I won't go into detailed constructive criticism because I don't think that this site is for that. Here are a couple of points to consider:
1. Prologue (or Epilogue) is additional information -- something that "adds" onto the story; generally, it is not something that "joins" the story. They way you used prologue is considered bad story-telling. Hooking readers by showing a point in the story as a prologue implies that you are not confident of what is coming before that prologue. So, maybe you start the story at the prologue itself!
2. You showed glee, frustration and angst pretty well, but the astonishment towards the end of chapter three did not come out well.
3. Towards the end, Krish is going to a cave-like place (if I remember correctly). Now, I am not sure if he really was going or if it was dream-like.

There are a number of published books out there that pale in comparison to your writing. So, I would think that your story-telling needs polishing.

Not sure if you have heard of this writing community -- scribophile.com. It is an amazing place for a wannabe writer. But I'll have to warn you that if you haven't been used to regular criticism on your writing, that site might haunt your imagination.

Oct 03 '15
1

Rashmi Rathi

Thanks for sparing time to read and providing your feedback. So far this is the most detailed feedback I have received and really appreciate your thoughts on it. To answer some of your queries, what you started with was the Prologue. Then Chpater 1, 2 and part of chapter 3 is flashback...somewhere in chapter 3 the prologue catches on and then we move further ahead with Krish's story. But, what I couldn't figure out is the polishing bit. You found that off the mark and then you are saying (note: polishing; you are pretty good as it is) so, now i am actually confused about it ?? is it really that off mark or it is somewhat bang on and will do with some polishing?

Oct 03 '15
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The Accidental Accountant

Shriesh Pabba

Please do bear in mind that this is only one person's opinion.

The writing style is breezy. Deb's character is very likeable. A bit more character and plot development will make me want to read more.

Oct 03 '15
1
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Deepak Kaul

Thank you for your insightful review. It will help me improve the manuscript.

Oct 04 '15
1